That rush of satisfaction was replaced by guilt and disappointment. Guilt - because I’d spent so much time reading instead of writing. Disappointment - not because I would be returning to my full time job tomorrow, but because I’d somehow ‘failed’ my holiday goals.
While most of my family and friends consider holidays the time of year to forget about life’s demands and to just relax and enjoy your time off, I see it as the time I should focus all of my attention on my writing. An opportunity to be super productive without the distraction of my day job. 2015 was a spectacularly crappy year with not much achieved in the writing department. So naturally, I set my writing goals even higher than usual… and I’d failed to achieve them.
Then it hit me. I’d set myself up to fail. Why did I believe it perfectly normal for everyone else to enjoy a week off doing whatever they wanted, but I wasn’t allowed the same? After a year of non-stop work, volunteering and other commitments, wouldn’t it make sense that I needed time out?
YES! So I've decided on a theme I'll live by in 2016 - BE KIND TO YOURSELF.
Most of us are our harshest critics. I definitely am! Yet we often expect so much more of ourselves than we'd reasonably expect from others.
This year I promise to:
- chill out and have some ‘me time’ when I need it (My TBR pile is out of control and Netflix sings it's siren song).
- give myself a kick up the butt when I need it (those days when I'm procrastinating instead of just writing!).
- treat myself the way I deserve to be treated (the way I treat others).
- spoil my dog like the princess she is! (off topic, but I do sometimes tell myself off to too much cuddle time with Daisy).
2016 is going to be a great year for me with many writing goals. I now know I can only achieve those goals by working hard and being kind to myself.
If any of this resonates with you, please remember to do the same. You deserve kindness from everyone, especially yourself.